The Carper


Guy Shoots Self With Nail Gun, No Big Deal by Dutch
April 6, 2012, 11:40 am
Filed under: Current Events

CAMDEN, N.J. (AP)A self-employed builder from New Jersey hopes to be out of the hospital by Saturday, days after he accidentally shot a nail into his heart.

Dennis Hennis of Vineland says he was working on a neighbor’s roof when his nail gun jammed last Saturday.  Hennis tells WPVI-TV in Philadelphia he tried to clear it when it felt like someone poked him in the chest. A 3 1/2-inch nail hit the right side of his heart.

You think some little 3 1/2 inch nail is going to put down Dennis Hennis?  No way!  Dennis Hennis is from Camden.  Shit don’t play like that down there.  What did Dennis Hennis feel, NOTHING.  Oh I just got poked in the chest, no big deal.  Is there a bigger badass than Dennis Hennis?

First off, his name is Dennis Hennis.  Gotta be an alias right?  We know he’s a tough guy…I guarantee he’s in witness protection.  Probably some real dirt work kind of dude because there is no way parents name their kids like that.  Either he’s in witness protection and pissed off the FBI guy giving him his fake name or his dad pulled a Johnny Cash Boy Named Sue move and flat out made this guys life as difficult as possible.  No way you can take a guy seriously after he introduces himself with that name.

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