The Carper

Introducing, The JoeyBra by Dutch
May 1, 2012, 3:15 pm
Filed under: Current Events, Tech

HP – For every woman who’s ever stuffed an iPhone into her bra for safekeeping on the dance floor, here’s the cue to kick yourself: Turns out a pair college students have now patented the concept.

Dubbed the JoeyBra, the push-up bra comes with under-arm pockets perfect for stowing valuables like smartphones, keys, and credit cards.

It’s about GOD DAMN TIME.  What year is this?  We’re in 2012 and finally I now have an excuse to cop a feel.  I’ve only been waiting for this since my first 5th grade dance.  Like “oh your hands are full?  Don’t worry, I’ll grab your keys.  Which boob pocket are they in again?”  Just so classic and so awesome all at the same time.

Could this be the most useless invention ever?  I dare you to name one place and time where this would be acceptable to wear.  “Yea, I really like this book, how much is it? Does it look strange that I’m reaching up my own shirt to grab my wallet?  It does?  Oh hold on a second, my tits are ringing.”


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