The Carper


Male Birth Control, Coming to a Store Near You by Dutch
May 9, 2012, 10:15 am
Filed under: Current Events

NOWPUBLIC –RISUG (Reversible Inhibition of Sperm Under Guidance) is a contraception procedure designed for men, in which a chemical compound is injected into the vas deferens to kill sperm as they… commute. The advantage of a procedure like RISUG over a vasectomy is obvious: nothing gets snipped.

Does RISUG Work?

Yes, RISUG works in phase III clinical trials, although the test group has been very small: 250 participants. Guha has been working on RISUG for around 25 years, and human trials have been underway since 2002. So far, Guha claims a nearly 100% success rate, with only one unplanned pregnancy among participants. That pregnancy was blamed on an improper administration of the RISUG procedure. Also, no notable side effects have been reported beyond temporary scrotal swelling (ouch). 

You might think Ol’ Dutch would be 100% down with this but in fact, I’m 100% on the fence.  First off, don’t talk to me about how it’ll be so awesome because you don’t have to wear a condom. Why?  Because you know god damn well that you don’t anyway.  Secondly, isn’t this like jinxing the shit out of yourself for the next ten years.

You’re basically saying that you have sex so much that you need to have this done.  That’s a guaranteed cock-block from the sex gods.  You’ve become too confident and too vain to appreciate this wonderful gift so they have to put you in your place.  It’s different for girls. Girls take it because they know they might wake up in the morning and want to get it in so they’ll just go on their phone because they have 5 or 6 dudes on the back burner.  Guys, we already have so much working against us, we don’t need one more thing.

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