The Carper


Cha Cha Has It All Wrong. Guys Don’t Care As Much As Girls Think We Do. by Dutch
May 10, 2012, 12:30 pm
Filed under: Current Events

Cha Cha – If you and your boyfriend have decided to move in together, you’ve probably already talked about how you’ll handle combining the furniture, how you’ll tackle house chores, how you’ll handle finances, etc.

But what you might not realize is that while your guy might tolerate living with some of your quirks and habits, he may not be a big fan of the more material items in your home. As it turns out, there are some things that are just too “girly” for a man to tolerate living with on a daily basis. Be prepared to go to the mattresses or let him win over these nine things that are already in your home.

I’m sorry Cha Cha and Megan Rohrer, if that IS your real name.  But none of these things on your list bother men in the least, except for the last one.  Cats are awful.  I think we can all agree on that.  So I’m not going to count that one since it’s so obvious, you must be a moron to even include that in a list of things that would be funny or surprising.  Seriously, how bad is this list?  Go figure, it was written by a woman.  CauseWereGuys, I’m very disappointed in you as well.

1. Decorative Pillows – who the F cares?  I throw that shit off the bed like I’m digging for gold.  Plus, it’s sexy as hell (like clearing a desk before you bang a chick) to throw that shit off as you have her on the bed taking each others clothes off.

2. WE TV – that’s what smart phones are for Brosephine.  While she’s immersed in whatever WE TV movie is going on, you’re checking scores, email, probably looking at the posts from thecarper.com.  Plus, you’re scoring points.  You’re doing something SHE wants to do.  MAJOR points.  Also, if it’s one of those reality shows…that shit is hilarious.  It’s not suppose to be funny to women but I find that shit ab so lutely hilarious.  I make fun of those chicks while the program is going on.  Chicks love a sense of humor.

3. Decorative Hand Towels – Uh, I wipe my hands on them anyway, so WTFC.

4. Bed Spread – It keeps me warm under the covers.  Enough said.

5. Collage – Nothing says “hands off, this is my girl” more than a picture collage.  It’s like a built in defense system for dude’s that visit.

6. Your TV – Are these people stupid?  Chicks love watching TV on big TV’s as much as guys do.  The programming is just different.  You put their tv in the kitchen or god forbid you don’t have two tv’s, you put hers in the bedroom.

7. Mirrors – Who doesn’t like mirrors?  Mirrors on the ceiling, mirrors on the wall, who cares?  Yea, I like to look myself up before I go into the bedroom.  Show me a guy that doesn’t care what he looks like and I’ll show you a guy that just paid for a hooker.

8. Girl Food – If you think we want to eat healthy, you’re an idiot. But Guys don’t mind eating healthy. We just love fried foods, steak, potato skins, and wings.  So what does it hurt that when we’re at home our girls take care of us?  That’s their job.  They are literally programmed to WANT to improve us.  So yea, I’ll eat healthy at home just so I can grab wings with my boys and watch the game.  It’s called “Maintaining Your Appearance”.  No worse, no better.  As long as she doesn’t tell me what to eat while we’re out to dinner and I’m paying for $100 bottles of wine just to get laid, I don’t care what she serves me at home.

9. Cats – obviously.  But my dog will either eat it or make it so miserable for her cat that it just up and leaves.  Chances are, it wanted to anyways.

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