The Carper

Do I Have Walking Pneumonia? by Dutch
June 11, 2012, 2:00 pm
Filed under: Entertainment, Ridiculous

So as you know, I was on death’s doorstep a few weeks ago, sick as hell.  Now, I’m still fighting this ridiculous cough that won’t leave and I’m still coughing up phlem like a mo fo.  It’s literally gotten to the point where coughing every 10-15 minutes is normal for me now.

So wtf is the deal?  My genius doctor says it’s pollen.  Fucking pollen.  I asked him if he needed to go to med school for that diagnoses.  So there’s nothing he can do for me.  However, this morning, I’m bored to death in my weekly Monday meeting when my boss says that I might have walking pneumonia.  I had no clue that was even a real thing.  He said he had it before and it sounds like that’s what I have.

So my question to you is, am I deserving of any special treatment?  Like, can I say I’m sick?  I feel like a god damn leper walking around with pneumonia.  Am I somehow more awesome than I already believe I am because I got laid this weekend while having walking pneumonia.  I’m pretty sure that makes me more awesome.  Like, people die from this shit and I’m running around boozing and banging.   Yea, this definitely means I’m even more awesome than I give myself credit for.


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