The Carper

Roger Clemens to Pitch in minor league game saturday by Flama Blanca
August 21, 2012, 10:30 am
Filed under: Current Events, Ridiculous, Sports

WaPo – When Roger Clemens pitches Saturday night for the Sugar Land Skeeters it will be the first time the 50-year-old has taken the mound in almost five years.

Will he still be the Rocket who intimidated hitters in the majors for more than 20 years? Or will his extended absence and age leave him struggling against players less skilled than the ones he used to face?

Clemens signed with the Skeeters of the independent Atlantic League on Monday and he is expected to start for the minor league team on Saturday at home against Bridgeport.

“His fastball was clocked at 87 mph. All of his pitches were working,” said Randy Hendricks, Clemens’ agent. “He threw a three-inning simulated game after an extensive workout warmup.”

Let me preface this by admitting that I am the biggest Roger Clemens apologist in the world. He was my favorite pitcher of all time and in my mind until they prove he did something, he didn’t do shit. Hall of Famer all day long.

That being said, fucking knock it off already. Yes, we are all aware that you are a super-competitive dickhead of Jordanesque proportions. That doesn’t mean we start the dog and pony show every couple of years for no apparent reason. Ok, so he was hitting 87 on the gun, and he’s going to mow down these kids that were good enough to play in college, yet not good enough to get picked up by a big league club (it is Independent league, after all).

UPDATE: According to, the Astros sent a scout to see the Rocket’s workout. What a sad state of affairs in Houston. Beautiful stadium, shitty ownership, and your best player is a fucking midget. Good luck with that.


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