The Carper

Nice try, Melky: Shamed Cabrera recuses himself from batting race, sill a cheater by Flama Blanca
September 24, 2012, 4:30 pm
Filed under: Current Events, Ridiculous, Sports – Melky Cabrera lost the right to play baseball by failing a drug test and now he has given up his chance to win the National League batting title.

Cabrera was disqualified from the NL batting honor at his own request when Major League Baseball and the players’ association agreed Friday to a one-season-only change in the rule governing the individual batting, slugging and on-base percentage champions.

What a sportsman Melky Cabrera is. Finding it deep down in his soul to disqualify himself from a title that he blatantly cheated to earn. Too little, too late. What makes this maddening is how obvious it is that Melky Cabrera had absolutely nothing to do with this entire process. Anyone who has ever seen him speak knows that has grasped the English language to the level of a 3rd grader, meaning he can’t read this statement, let alone issue it:

“To be plain, I personally have no wish to win an award that would widely be seen as tainted, and I believe that it would be far better for the remaining contenders to compete for that distinction,”

The Melk Man couldnt spell cow if you spotted him the c and the w, let alone words like “distinction”. Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining, and don’t tell me Melky fucking Cabrera is in any way sorry for talking PEDs to try and score a bigger contract. The only thing he regrets is being stupid enough to get caught. Thank you, Melky, for being so gracious as to let players who deserve performance based accolades to actually take them home. /sarcasmfont


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