The Carper


Rays, Rays, Go Away by Flama Blanca
September 28, 2012, 4:30 pm
Filed under: Sports

Last year the Tampa Bay Rays were left for dead and mounted arguably the most impressive comeback in baseball history to roll into the postseason, stealing a spot from the can’t-stop-shitting-themselves Boston Red Sox. Great story, never to be duplicated, right?

This year has been just as trying, and they lost their main (only?) offensive weapon, Evan Longoria, for a big chunk of the season. That is as good of an excuse as any to just suck and work things out for 2013. But they didn’t (again) and they are pushing hard for a playoff spot (again) and I find it utterly annoying (again). I don’t know what it is about the Rays that I just can’t embrace, but Goddamnit it’s something. Carlos Pena pisses me off because you shouldn’t be allowed to hit .200 and play in the major leagues. James Shields makes me want to punch him every time he gets all emotional on the mound, and BJ Upton ilicits the same feeling every time he looks like he doesn’t give a shit. Oh, and Fernando Rodney  – STRAIGHTEN YOUR FUCKING HAT OUT.  This team is not likeable, and I shouldn’t be forced to watch them on Sportscenter every night, so fuck off.

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