The Carper

Halloween Costume, what you got? by Dutch
October 18, 2012, 4:30 pm
Filed under: Current Events, Entertainment

I might be one of those guys up there.  Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.  Point is I’m doing a preemtive strike on Halloween and buying my costume this weekend.  Earliest I’ve ever bought a costume for Halloween.  Basically because I’m being pressure to get one, but that’s besides the point.  I’m going to be a newsie this year.  Why?  Because 1) I promised you way way back 2) newsie’s are legit.  Nothing sexier than dressing up in old time clothes like my boy Jack up there.  Mr. Santa Fe can get it in whenever he wants.  Sex just dripping off those Stetson’s.

And before you judge me, look, there are 2 category costumes for girls and 3 for guys.  Girls can go sexy 

or creative

Guys go one of three routes.  First is the “trying to be cool because I’m a dick and think I’m more awesome than I really am and everyone hates me”

 Honestly, look at these tool boxes

Then there’s the “I have to try and be funny to attract attention because I have zero personality and need to over compensate so girls think i’m interesting” costume

OMG!  You dressed up as a priest molesting a boy!  You are so funny and original!

Then there are awesome guys like me who don’t need gimmicks to impress.  Just original thinkers who are going to show up to the party and be just as great as their costume, like these guys

Point is, be original and awesome this Halloween.  Don’t be a follower, be a Carper.


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