The Carper

Lance Armstrong stripped of Tour de France titles by Flama Blanca
October 22, 2012, 4:30 pm
Filed under: Current Events, Sports – American cyclist Lance Armstrong was stripped of his seven Tour de France titles and banned for life by cycling’s governing body Monday following a report from the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency that accused him of leading a massive doping program on his teams.

I guess this was inevitable, after a parade of teammates, opponents, acquaintances, and gardeners testified that not only was Armstrong doping for his entire life, but is an unbearable douchebag to top it off.

There is a lesson here: If you are going to cheat as openly as guys like Armstrong, Roger Clemens, and Barry Bonds did, you should probably avoid being a cocksucker. I know Clemens and Bonds have gotten off scot free, but we all know what they did. The fact is that there were thousands of other guys doing this stuff, including guys who were just as famous, and their contemporaries don’t flip on them at the drop of a hat. So, kids – if you are a nice, likable guy you can pretty much get away with murder. On the flip side, if you treat people like shit, your ass will get reported for stealing a York Peppermint Patty, let alone defrauding the history of an entire sport.


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