The Carper

Sports Sports SPORTS!!!! by Dutch
October 26, 2012, 3:00 pm
Filed under: Pics

I got nothing.  Watch your own sports.


Gif time for Spiderman and Stan Lee by Dutch
October 26, 2012, 1:30 pm
Filed under: GIFs

Arnold Schwarzenegger to star in new Conan the Barbarian movie by Dutch
October 26, 2012, 12:11 pm
Filed under: Entertainment

Yes, you read that correctly.  Universal Studios just bought the rights to produce The Legend of Conan which will star Arnold Schwarzenegger.  I have no clue what the story is or how Conan will actually be able to do anything since Arnold is 65, but still, how awesome is this?

And if you remember, they did do a Conan remake last year, but since it didn’t star Arnold, it doesn’t count.


Frankenstorm is the biggest crock of bullshit I’ve ever heard by Dutch
October 26, 2012, 11:05 am
Filed under: Current Events

For those of you who don’t live in the Northeast, last year we had a horrendous storm on Halloween that crippled the power grid.  Some people didn’t have power for up to 2 weeks.  2 f’in weeks.  Guess what?  That storm was barely reported on.  Basically a “oh hey, we’re going to get some snow on Halloween, isn’t that funny?”

Now they’re making this huge deal about the “perfect storm” like it’s going to be some big catastrophy.  And you know what?  I’m not buying it.  Law of the land is that weathermen are correct 25% of the time and tv networks love ratings.  The bigger they make the storm, the higher the ratings.  So go buy your generators and stock up on water.  I’ll be here, watching old episodes of Law & Order and laughing at you.

STORMPOCALYPSE 2012 UPDATE: Now they are calling it Frankenstorm by Flama Blanca
October 26, 2012, 10:30 am
Filed under: Current Events

I gave you my feelings on the impending DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM yesterday, but I had to keep my readers in the loop here. The new name for Hurricane Sandy is “Frankenstorm”. Why “Frankenstorm”, you ask? Because it’s almost Halloween, of course! Plus whatever jerkoff weatherman that coined it thinks it will look great on the poster for the movie that is never going to get made because this fucking storm will consist of nothing but run-of-the-mill rain. Book it.