The Carper

Cyclops Cat Will Haunt Your Dreams by Flama Blanca
October 10, 2012, 10:30 am
Filed under: Current Events, NOPE

Fairfax Media – A photo of a one-eyed kitten named Cy drew more than a little skepticism when it turned up on various websites, but medical authorities have a name for the bizarre condition. “Holoprosencephaly” causes facial deformities, according to the US National Institute for Neurological Disorders and Stroke. In the worst cases, a single eye is located where the nose should be, according to the institute’s Web site. Traci Allen says the kitten she named Cy, short for Cyclops, was born on December 28 with the single eye and no nose. “You don’t expect to see something like that,” the 35-year-old Allen said from her home in Redmond, Oregon.

No shit you don’t expect to see something like that. I showed this to Dutch, and he tried to play it off like “what’s the big deal?”. The big deal, asshole, is that this mutant cat is about the freakiest thing I have ever seen and now I can’t unsee it. I am literally typing this at like 1234688234 words per minute so I can stop looking at this picture and never think about it again.

Puke city right here:


NOpe x 1,000,000,000: Snake with head at both ends discovered in my nightmares by Flama Blanca
September 24, 2012, 10:30 am
Filed under: Current Events, NOPE

Je. Sus. Christ.

A family in South Carolina has found (and ADOPTED???) a snake with a head at both ends. If you are looking for a sure-fire way to have creepy kids that everyone is afraid to speak to, this is a great place to start. I mean, this is a McPoyle Family 2.0 in the making.  Let me explain something to you: when you see a direct result of the Devil’s work slithering through your garden, you kill that son of a bitch and you kill it fast. Hit it with a shovel, then shoot it, then burn it, call Carnival, book a cruise, and throw the ashes overboard in the Caribbean. End of story.