The Carper

How many women did James Bond actually sleep with? by Dutch
November 13, 2012, 12:00 pm
Filed under: Entertainment

Courtesy of


The sentence below will absolutely blow your mind hole by Flama Blanca
November 6, 2012, 10:39 am
Filed under: Entertainment, Ridiculous

According to this, Jason Priestly is the same height as Danny Devito. That’s right, former heartthrob Brandon Walsh stands 5’0″, the very same as Frank Reynolds, who looks like a mutant. Not surprisingly, a Google search returns absolutely no pictures of the two together, which I am sure Priestley has written in a contract somewhere to hide this hideous secret from the viewing public. Also, this:

Jersey Shore house untouched by Sandy, sign of the apocalypse #3152 by Dutch
November 2, 2012, 12:00 pm
Filed under: Entertainment


Meanwhile, at the Jersey Shore….seems the Jersey Shore home for the mentally retarded and dysfunctional has survived Hurrican Sandy.  Basically, what this means, is the devil was the sole sender of this hurricane, that has ravaged the east coast and forced people to start scrounging for food in dumpsters.  Literally, what other explanation is there?  How would a just God inflict so much damage yet leave this house unscathed?

I’ll tell you why, because God has lost control.  Flat out game over.  Satan is in charge so start getting used to this face, you’ll be seeing a lot of it.

Gene Hackman slaps homeless man by Dutch
November 1, 2012, 12:30 pm
Filed under: Entertainment

Yahoo is reporting that Tuesday around 1:30pm, a homeless man walked up to Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, and called her a “very dirty name” upon which Hackman did not hesitate to slap the man across the face and walk away.

There are 3 shocking things about this story:

  1. It was actually the homeless man that reported this.  Hackman simply handled his business and went on living instead of crying like Kanye at the Emmy’s.
  2. Hackman is 82 years old.  Yes, 82.  How the hell did that happen?
  3. He only has 2 Oscar’s.  Just 2, for The French Connection and Unforgiven.  I’m literally feeling dizzy over this.  How about Crimson Tide? Get Shorty?  Hoosiers!?  What the hell is happening to this country?

Arnold Schwarzenegger to star in new Conan the Barbarian movie by Dutch
October 26, 2012, 12:11 pm
Filed under: Entertainment

Yes, you read that correctly.  Universal Studios just bought the rights to produce The Legend of Conan which will star Arnold Schwarzenegger.  I have no clue what the story is or how Conan will actually be able to do anything since Arnold is 65, but still, how awesome is this?

And if you remember, they did do a Conan remake last year, but since it didn’t star Arnold, it doesn’t count.