The Carper

The best video I have seen in a while – Get Low acoustic cover
November 28, 2012, 10:22 am
Filed under: Music, Video

The sentence below will absolutely blow your mind hole
November 6, 2012, 10:39 am
Filed under: Entertainment, Ridiculous

According to this, Jason Priestly is the same height as Danny Devito. That’s right, former heartthrob Brandon Walsh stands 5’0″, the very same as Frank Reynolds, who looks like a mutant. Not surprisingly, a Google search returns absolutely no pictures of the two together, which I am sure Priestley has written in a contract somewhere to hide this hideous secret from the viewing public. Also, this:

Sorry, Hurricane Sandy
October 31, 2012, 11:25 am
Filed under: Current Events

Dutch awaiting the disaster that had nothing to do with him

You know, Dutch had a lot of balls taunting a hurricane that was NEVER going to come anywhere close to his home in buttfuck Idaho. Now he’s sipping margaritas and typing on his hot pink Dell while I am sitting here typing by candlelight from my iPhone. Enjoy the sticks, dickhead.

STORMPOCALYPSE 2012 UPDATE: Now they are calling it Frankenstorm
October 26, 2012, 10:30 am
Filed under: Current Events

I gave you my feelings on the impending DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM yesterday, but I had to keep my readers in the loop here. The new name for Hurricane Sandy is “Frankenstorm”. Why “Frankenstorm”, you ask? Because it’s almost Halloween, of course! Plus whatever jerkoff weatherman that coined it thinks it will look great on the poster for the movie that is never going to get made because this fucking storm will consist of nothing but run-of-the-mill rain. Book it.

Video to waste your morning
October 26, 2012, 9:13 am
Filed under: Video

Best line of all time at 16:23